If You Give Your Mom a Book….

My mother is the personality baby of Blanche Dubois and Julia Sugarbaker. She is probably the funniest person I know. It has taken years of my living out on my own in the world, but my mom and I are friends. I like her. We talk about funny things, we share clothes and desserts, and we for sure loan books back and forth.

So, when my mom came to visit, I didn’t think twice about loaning her Bossypants* by the hilarious and inimitable Tina Fey. I knew she would like it.

One night, I see my mom’s number on the caller I.D. Thinking nothing of it, I answer my phone.

“Panda, what is a F-U-P-A?”

“Uh, Mom, I don’t think I can tell you that.”

“What is it? Tina Fey talks about it in her book and I want to know what it is. Foopa? Is that how you say it?”

“Oh God, ok, it means ‘Fat Upper Pussy Area’.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“Yeah, that’s what it means.”

My mom starts laughing so hard she nearly falls over, which is a little scary considering she’d just recovered from a broken foot, so I quickly said good-bye and returned to my dignity, praying never to have to say the “p” word to my mom, ever again.

*Sidenote about Bossy Pants: I laughed so hard at this book, it was embarassing to read it on the subway. I love Tina Fey and all that she has done for women in comedy. However, I got a little tired of her always referring to herself as such an awkward and unattractive person. I have seen Mrs. Fey in front of the Victoria’s Secret on the UWS, in gym clothes, and I have to say that she is both thin and very pretty. Get over it, Tina! You’ve blossomed into a beautiful swan. Feel free to quote me on the back of your next book.

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2 thoughts on “If You Give Your Mom a Book….

  1. Pingback: Second-Hand Embarrassment or Why Lea Michelle Makes Me Feel Squidgy | petulantpanda

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