The Awesome Opossum

Everyone needs a best friend. Someone to turn to when times get tough, or you break a nail, or Banana has a sale and you can’t afford anything but the deals are just too good-You get the idea.

For me, that person is the Awesome Opossum:

(Sometimes we just like to hang out. Snicker.)

She is the Lo to my Lauren, the Monica to my Rachel, the Kate to my Spade. We have been partners in crime since high school. Though miles and years have come between us, we are still as thick as thieves.

One thing we do to keep the BFF spark alive is to double feature whenever we use bus or plane to et together. Double featuring is the Mission Impossible style way to go to the cinema. For anyone who isn’t twelve or as cool as we are, double featuring is where you pay for one movie and then sneak into a second one. Don’t judge us for this; I may blush from anger, but never from shame!

The thing about trying to pull this off in New York is that movie theaters here are multilevel. And there are teenagers at each landing checking your tickets. It requires a lot of stealth planning and duplicitous maneuvering to pull this business off.

We’d practiced in the minor leagues of double featuring and were ready to take it to the next level. We headed down to Union Square and bought tickets for the first movie, giggling to ourselves about how clever we were. Underestimating your victim is always the first mistake.

After Movie #1 was over (an artsy film more aimed at Pandas than Opossums, for what it’s worth), we headed to the stairs towards the back of the building, sure we were inches away from that sweet rush of sitting in the theater of a movie for free.

As we rounded the corner, we were stopped dead in our tracks by the manager of the movie theatre himself. “May I help you ladies?”

I stammered out something about being lost. He asked for our tickets. We gave each other the BFF telepathic side eye and did the only logical thing: we ran.


We ran down the stairs, out of the building and two blocks after that, until we were safely on the escalator to Filene’s Basement. I guess we thought the discounts would shield us from the imaginary movie police.

Awesome Opossum and I still laugh about that story, but I can tell you for a fact that neither one of us has set foot back in that movie theater to this day.

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One thought on “The Awesome Opossum

  1. Pingback: Bros: The Science of “I Love You, Man” | petulantpanda

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