Pretending to look busy at work can be exhausting. There are days where I am slammed from the moment I walk in until I shut off the conference room lights and run for the elevator. And then there are days like today.
I’ve had stuff to do. I’ve made some calls; arranged a few meetings. I’ve set up and cleaned up lunch. Run errands. Emailed other business people business-style emails. But all of those things have taken about an hour combined. So all day, I’ve been busy looking for things to do that make me look like I’m not just looking at gossip sites online. I have checked the calendar so many times that our CEO probably thinks I have crippling OCD. I have fake-typed so many emails that not even I am sure what’s a real interaction and what is an imagined exchange anymore.
The annoying thing about being fake-busy is that in my personal life, I am frantically, actually busy. I have hours of things that I need to accomplish. But none of those things can be accomplished here at my desk. Not even moisturizing more, which is something I promised myself I would do this winter.
Work would be so much more awesome, and productive, if I could slap on my headphones, break out some sheet music and use this time to accomplish some real things. Or if I could spend hours on the phone returning calls that are not related to my job here without being seen as a shirker. Or if we had a mandated company naptime. But, alas, I get paid by the hour to sit at a desk in the middle of the office where everyone can see and hear me. So until I get really good at painting irises over my eyelids, I will continue fake-emailing and save the real work for when I get home.