And I Know Things Now

I am a salacious gossip. If you ever have the need to unburden your soul of a rumor, please come sit by me.

My favorite thing in the world is an anonymously passive-aggressive social media entry. When a girl posts something like “I WILL be myself! No ONE can keep me down, even if he thinks he’s SMARTER than me!!” on Facebook, my heart just sings.

What does that post accomplish, except to let everyone who hasn’t already blocked said girl from his or her news feed know that bitch is crazy? It certainly doesn’t resolve any conflict, or help the issue die down. It definitely promotes curiosity among the four “friends” who share the same high school mentality long after caps and gowns have been discarded. It also encourages said “friends” to write comments like “u du u! grl call me if u need 2 tlk!”

But am I the only one who finds these grammatically challenged drama fests to be sad imitations of the original passive-aggressive social media entries; the only one who pines for the days when you had to search your friend’s AOL profile to find a link to the most special social media of all? I miss Livejournal.

Livejournal was a chance for people to vent their feelings in a journal that was totally private unless someone wanted to read it and then they could. It wasn’t a blog or a Tumblr or a Pintrest page. It was a place where you could freely express that your friend was a dick or that a girl was totally confusing your heart, without ever having to man up and say it to anyone’s face.

In college, Gigi and I used to read Livejournals all the time. They were cryptic little windows into the parts of people’s souls that they were dying to show, but afraid to use specifics. They were like blind items, but about people I knew, as opposed to celebrities.

Now we gossips and Nosy Nellies must suffer through tiny sound bites written in teenaged text slang. Long gone are the days of luxuriating in the lurid details of a close acquaintance’s life told by his or her very own hand. Sure, people blog and there’s online bullying, but it’s not the same. Livejournal was in the early days of internet over sharing, when we didn’t realize our every electronic footstep stirred up a gigabyte of dust. It was before being a giant whore in a public forum made you a reality star. It was the age of internet innocence.


One thought on “And I Know Things Now

  1. Pingback: A Little Gossip…A Little Chat | petulantpanda

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