Rather Like a Habit One Can Always Break…And Yet

No politician in my lifetime has spurred the passion in me that Rick Santorum inspires. On one hand, I am disheartened to the point of immobile depression that such a man is in the running for America’s highest office. He hates women, gays, education, rich people, poor people, people of all colors, JFK. He’s the less attractive, more educated Sarah Palin. None of the star power, all of the biases.

On the other hand, he is hilarious. The things he says on camera could not be thought up if John Waters and Eric Idle decided to write a musical about the most repressed politician in America. Rick Santorum says the kind of things that most people with any political experience wouldn’t even think, let alone say out loud. Rick Santorum is like Kristen Wiig’s SNL character Penelope. He is always out-Conservativing his own party. I love him.

In the past few months, Senator Santorum has gifted America with these verbal gems and so many others:

Regarding separation of Church and State: “To say that people of faith have no role in the public square? You bet that makes you throw up.”

Sen. Santorum on why women shouldn’t serve in the military: “My concern is that being in combat in that situation, instead of being focused on the mission, they might be more concerned about protecting a woman in a vulnerable position.”

On gay marriage: “Is anyone saying same-sex couples can’t love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these relationships marriage, too?”

On boys bowling with pink balls: “Not on camera.”

Rick Santorum is a very angry man. He throws temper tantrums in front of the press. He dismisses people who don’t agree with him as being “Anti-American.” A lot of people think that Santorum’s preoccupation with homosexuality is an indicator of his own repressed urges. I think that oversimplifies the issue.

The Tea Party is a movement based on fear and ignorance. They fear anyone who is different. They attack those differences as baldly un-American because they don’t have facts or experience to draw upon; only fear and perhaps distaste. They are the mean girls of politics. If Karl Rove is Regina George, Rick Santorum is Gretchen Weiners.

I wish he would go away. Anyone who uses religion as a weapon and aw-shucks bigotry as a platform should not be given the national spotlight. He is a poison and an exceptional blemish on the pock-marked face of American politics.

But oh how I’d miss him….