There’s a Bright Golden Haze in the Meadow….

Often times, when I do not blog, it is because I am having too crappy of a day to put an ironic spin on anything. Yesterday was just such a day that began with my having to be at work an hour early and ended with an hour wait at the allergist followed by my losing my very expensive and super comfy black flats in the subway. Yesterday was not great.

Today will be better. Today will be better because I am choosing to make it better. I hate when I am in a bad mood and someone says “It takes more muscles to frown than to smile,” or “Cheer up,” or any other number of annoying platitudes people love to dish out when they are in good moods and I am cranky. That kind of talk makes me really dig in to my crankiness and retain it out of pure spite.

That said, the day is always better when I choose to be positive. My dad talks recently read a book, the thesis of which is to smile before you even get out of bed to make your whole day bright. I gave him a lot of crap for this (and continue to: Dad, you are welcome for my always keeping you on your toes. No thanks needed), but there is something to it. When I was on tour, the artistic director of our company encouraged all of us to “Choose joy.” I can’t really pull off having that as my mantra, but she was just the right blend of Stevie Nicks and Marjory the Trash Heap from Fraggle Rock to make it work for her. Choosing joy got me through some of the more annoying days on that tour; three months in a van with the same six people will really test a person’s tolerance level.

So today, sitting here in my brown shoes and staring down a pile of filing that seems to only get bigger every time I make headway, I will choose joy, dammit. I will not question all the life choices I made that brought me to this challenging moment, as I often do (“My label maker broke! Why didn’t I study harder in 8th grade geometry?!” A day in the life….). I will be grateful that I have a job and can pay my bills. I will be grateful that I have an awesome plan to have a picnic and see a show in the park tonight with my friends. I will be grateful I have more than one pair of shoes to wear at work. I mean, they are making a sequel to Magic Mike and the barista at Starbucks this morning made my latte so fast I hadn’t even paid yet. Good reasons to choose joy, but the best reason is that being in a bad mood makes bad things happen, a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Ugh, maturity is really killing my edge.


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