I have always been fascinated by weddings. Remember Midge, the Jessica Rabbit-y doll from the Barbie family? She had a whole wedding weekend’s worth of accessories. I was not fortunate enough to have Midge and her crew in my childhood (though I did have the Barbie Dream House with the elevator, NBD), so I had to plan doll weddings without the help of professionals. One morning, before preschool, I married my My Buddy™ doll, dressed in footy pajamas with a veil. The witnesses, my parents, wore their fanciest bathrobes. The marriage was quickly annulled; we were better as friends.
Women hear about our wedding days from the moment we are born. We assume we will get married and have the first two to three plus decades of our lives to plan for the big day. Eight years ago, I would have told you my wedding had to be over the top, sparing no expense. I wanted a huge dress and a million bridesmaids and a bachelorette party with at least five male strippers. Now that I’m older and realize a wedding is much more about the bulk of a marriage than the first day of it, I would much rather have a simple wedding and a simple dress and no more than a sensible three strippers as befits a lady my age.
My absolute favorite aspect of this meticulous, premature planning is bridesmaids. I’ve heard many a friend (and also myself) tearfully say, “I don’t even think I’d ask her to be in my wedding anymore.” The proximity and reality of that wedding are irrelevant. The statement implies that the friendship is irrevocably broken. I have no idea how married women even begin to decide the hierarchy of their friends.
Obsessing about weddings doesn’t make anyone a bad feminists or silly, flighty man-catcher. I don’t eschew CNN for TLC’s Say Yes to the Dress (every time…). I am definitely not ready to share my whole life with another person, but that doesn’t ruin a fun daydream. When I fantasize about my wedding, I see all people I love from all corners of the globe at one big party, drinking rosé cava and dancing to Britney Spears. Considering my first wedding was so small, I think I deserve that.