You guys, it’s been a tough week. If you live in a swing state, you’re wondering what TV show you’re watching in between all the political ads. If you are Donald Trump, you’re wondering whether or not putting Stephen Colbert’s balls in your mouthwill get you enough public attention to sustain you through the rest of election season. If you’re Britney Spears, you are wondering what the eff Sam Lufti is saying about you in court or possibly where your lunchtime Frappucino is (Britney is an enigma. Don’t try to pin her down). If you’re me, you are wondering why your stupid orange dress is clinging to your tights.
However, the world doesn’t stop just for me, swing state inhabitants, Donald Trump, and the inimitable Britney Spears. Some people are having killer weeks. Namely, Pandito. Someone sent Pandito an awesome picture of Halloween yard decorations last night but something even more exciting happened. After three and a half years of hard work, plus all the undergraduate work that preceded it, today my brother was sworn in as a lawyer. This means a lot of things. It means he left law school with flying colors. (Oh, how I wish that was literal. I would love to see my brother launched out of a cannon with different colors of smoke puffing out of it to commemorate his graduation.) It means he told that Louisiana bar where it could go (by taking it and passing it, not somehow physically intimidating the bar). It means he can authoritatively start talking like Matlock, a lifelong dream of mine for him.
It also means I am going to commit a wave of petty crimes every time I visit Louisiana, going between ten and fifteen miles over the speed limit at all times, drawing mustaches on all, and I do mean all, school crossing signs with little people on them, and not just walking but dancing on the grass wherever there are posts instructing otherwise. My dances will be inspired by the pride I feel for my brother today.