It’s a Bitter Sweet Symphony

“When a relationship dies do we ever really give up the ghost or are we forever haunted by the spirits of relationships past?”

-Sex and the City

(I totally hate myself for posting that quote.)

I am always astounded when I run into someone I know by chance. If I run into him or her on the subway, I am dumbfounded that we are both taking public transportation, let alone the same line, let alone the same car. What are the odds of that?! I don’t actually want to know. Statistics ruin the magic of kismet.

You take the subway too?!?!

You take the subway too?!?!

Yesterday, even more improbably, I ran into someone I knew on the street. She was my first New York City best friend. The year was 2007. We were two non-Equity babies sitting in a sea of non-Equity babies waiting to be seen for an audition we knew we were not going to be seen for. A group of people sitting on the non-Eq benches with us were snarking about the various auditioners audible through the walls. Our eyes locked and simultaneously rolled. And the rest is BFF history. Except for all the parts where we let each other down, and accidentally insulted each other, and stood each other up. It was a fast friendship but not built to last.

On the record, I hate Sex and the City. It is the worst one-dimensional portrayal of women and their friendships of all time. Plus, all my friends always make me the Miranda. But in Season 4, Episode 5, entitled “Ghost Town” (I didn’t always hate Sex and the City), Carrie feels New York is haunted by people from her past. The city is just big enough that you can forget about someone meaningful who has left your life, but not so big that they stay gone. Whenever I run into someone from my serious auditioning days I think of that episode, which causes me shame and peace in equal measure. Those years gave me a tough skin and a biting sense of humor. The people I came up with were a vital support system and I’ll always love them for that.

I love Cynthia Nixon, but my friends don't say I'm like Cynthia Nixon.....

I love Cynthia Nixon, but my friends don’t say I’m like Cynthia Nixon…..

My old BFF, who incidentally is always the Carrie of all her friends, looked great. She seemed happy. We’ve both pulled back from the audition scene that bonded us and subsequently made us insane. We’re both thinner and with shinier hair. My ghost looked great. I hope hers did as well.

Available at

Available at


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