I Watched An Eagle As It Was Flying

I’m a little* uptight by nature. My first instinct is usually to say no. No to new opportunities and time commitments and change. It would take me like 10 minutes to get into the pool as a little girl because I’d dip my foot in the water, shrink from the cold, retreat, repeat. I was not annoying at all to have over for a pool party.Kathy Bowman

But in 2012, I resolved that I would say “yes”. Not in the cartoonish style of the movie Yes, Man in which Jim Carrey and Bradley Cooper’s careers briefly kissed as one began its decline and the other its ascent; yes to things that scared me. I would keep myself open to whatever possibilities life threw my way. I had just come off of three years of antacids, anxiety, and vocal rest and realized that my biggest fear had already come true. It was time to be afraid of bigger things! Also, it was time to start living my life.

I fought it every step of the way, but I kept my resolution. Slowly throughout the year, I started to unclench. I began taking improv classes and made funny, smart new friends. I moved into a new apartment, which I was maybe not financially or emotionally prepared for, but am so happy with. I started watching Parenthood. And guys, I made a poop joke.Wheee

For all my uptightness, I’m pretty open to talk about bodily issues, sex, drugs, and what very little I know of rock n’ roll. But I really, really do not like bathroom humor. I don’t know why this is, but once you have made a poop joke in my presence, we are not as good of friends as we were before. I think it’s something to do with Jackass and also being disgusted by the onomatopoetic d-word. Ick. Iiiiiick. Poop jokes are lazy comedy and have been snobbily disgusted by them for years. My entire improv team knows about this and is much more respectful of it than I could ever ask them to be. It’s one of many, many reasons why they rock.

But in the year of yes, I made a poop** joke. The details are hazy, perhaps intentionally blocked out in self-preservation, maybe the inversion of a puke joke (hilarious always) or a comment about curry. My friends all stared at me, shocked at my brazen crass. I laughed and then immediately shook my head in shame and closed my lips. It was the year of yes, but there was no need to go completely insane.

Darling

*The way that the Bubonic Plague was a little bug.

**This post is the most times I’ve ever typed the p-word in my life. I think I’ve hit my quota for 2013.

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