Live Blogging the Oscars

Hi you guys! The Awesome Opossum and I are liveblogging the Oscars tonight. Stay tuned for our awesome comments!

Petulant Panda: finally on. There were Technical difficulties

Jennifer Aniston looks AMAZING

Awesome Opossum:  oh hello

she does

where is Justin?

and do you think Angelina is SUPER jealous

i don’t like Jennifer Garner’s dress

Petulant Panda: they are adults and mature. she and justin don’t have to do everything together

Awesome Opossum:  and Kristin Chenowith looks like a munchkin

Petulant Panda: i do not like her dress either

it’s too weird

like, we know Ben should have been nominated, but don’t throw a dress like that on as a statement

Awesome Opossum:  Halle Berry is from the FUTURE

Petulant Panda: Or the disco past

Awesome Opossum:  haha zing!

Robin Roberts has to talk to all these people about shallow stuff while JUST recovering from cancer

also Halle, you were a bond girl like 10 years ago

Petulant Panda: Right? to everyone

Awesome Opossum:  OK it is mean to put Adele next to Kristen Chenowith

Petulant Panda: No, I don’t think so. I’d like to hear them sing together

Awesome Opossum:  My boyfriend, Sven said “she looks like a rare monster from Skyrum”

Petulant Panda: I can’t believe Stacy Keibler is in for a third award season

Awesome Opossum:  i know

Petulant Panda: How do you think she beat the streak?

Awesome Opossum:  maybe she is secretly a lesbian?

so they have a deal?

Petulant Panda: Maybe…what would he get out of it?

Maybe they’re really in love?

Awesome Opossum: 1`.she looks horrible

2. eat something, your role in Les Mis over

3. we all want this to be the last time we hear YOUR voice Anne

Petulant Panda:  Is she trying to dress like an Oscar?

Awesome Opossum:  “of course you are”

Awesome Opossum:  the only way anyone can ever respond to Anne Hathaway for the rest of time

TRUE

Petulant Panda:  OMG-bahahaha

Petulant Panda:  Also, Kristen Chenowith, who is so lovely and classy and talented, is being really polite about pretending Anne Hathaway knows what it’s like to be in a musical

Awesome Opossum:  she like um i have been in a million musicals you stupid bitch

Petulant Panda:  Yeah, she’s like, I’m a classically trained opera singer, congrats on your wide vowels during “I Dreamed a Dream”

Petulant Panda:  Also, Anne, don’t try to tell Kristen about Judy effing Garland

She was in Wicked

a musical

that was written just for her, based on The Wizard of Oz

Awesome Opossum:  I am annoyed that now i know why they weren’t in the Smithsonian when i went a few weeks ago

so that they could have a fake reveal with Anne Hathaway

Petulant Panda:  That’s just one drop in the bucket of how annoying Anne Hathaway is to people all the time

Also, Jamie Foxx’s daughter is beautiful

Awesome Opossum:  right?

Petulant Panda:  And Kelly Rowland looks awesome

Awesome Opossum:  she looks great in that dress

Kelly looks awesome, but sounds like an idiot

Daniel Day Lewis wife totes just rolled her eyes

Awesome Opossum:  like UGH I get, you are nominated, again

Petulant Panda:  I missed it! Hopefully someone will make a JIF

She looks like she doesn’t take any shit

Petulant Panda:  I have a thing for Daniel Day Lewis

Awesome Opossum:  Last of the Mohicans DDL is super hot

“I WILL FIND YOU”

That you will, naked in your bed

Petulant Panda:  I’ve never seen that movie

I watched Glengarry Glenross last night

Which I think has won Oscars in the past

Awesome Opossum:  did you know he texted Sally Field in character as Lincoln

Petulant Panda: that’s so intense

Awesome Opossum:  which seems impossible bc they didn’t have text messaging in 1865

Petulant Panda:  That’s an interesting line for staying in character

Petulant Panda:  Like, he stays true to the relationship but isn’t so crazy he can’t acknowledge modernity

Awesome Opossum:  UM WASH YOUR HAIR KRISTEN STEWART

gross

Petulant Panda:  I hate this new dress style

btw

like, Anne Hathaway and now Renee Zelwegger

Petulant Panda:  Too structural

Awesome Opossum:  yeah Renee looks weird

Awesome Opossum:  Architectural Digstet= most random green room sponsor ever?

Petulant Panda:  could they not get Fox and Hound?

Awesome Opossum:  i like that even the tech people are wearing tuxes

Petulant Panda:  So uncomfortable for work

God, Queen Latifa looks amazing

I want to get married in that gown

Awesome Opossum:  she looks really good

ok Kristen Chenowith is not tall enough for this job

officially

Petulant Panda:  Hahaha, she should get to stand on a box

Awesome Opossum:  seriously

how tall is she?

Petulant Panda:  4’10”?

Awesome Opossum:  OH I’M SORRY ABC no one will be watching Diving with the Stars
wtf?
Petulant Panda:  No, that is desperation on their part. Maybe they’re trying to relive the glory days of Battle of the Network stars?
Unsuccessfully

Petulant Panda:  Way to bring up Argo, the movie people are fucking bitter about

oh, haha

Awesome Opossum:  did you see Argo?

Petulant Panda:  i see what he did there

Awesome Opossum:  i watched it last night

oh snap!

Petulant Panda:  I haven’t seen it

Awesome Opossum:  its good

see it

Petulant Panda:  Is this whole show going to be just Family Guy impressions mixed in with movie facts?

I could just hang out with any frat guy in the whole world to get that

Awesome Opossum:  that seems likely

Petulant Panda:  How did they make Seth McFarlane’s head smaller?

It’s usually so large and round

Petulant Panda: SHIT

Awesome Opossum:  DAMMMMN

Petulant Panda:  Mel Gibson’s voicemails=hilarious

Nice

ok, his jokes are pretty good

Awesome Opossum:  1 billion people, that’s how many also have NTDs @END_7

shameless plug

Petulant Panda:  I respect you for that

Awesome Opossum:  ok William Shatner looks like someone crazy drunk uncle

Petulant Panda:  I’m going to re-edit this after the show to include countless references to my improv group and impending cabaret

He is a crazy drunk uncle

I wish Tina and Amy would host everything too

Awesome Opossum:  samsies

also is that Samuel L Jackson in a purple velvet tux?

oh side note from Sven, Seth McFarland loves musical theater

Petulant Panda:  Yes, I did know that

there are episodes of Family Guy that have entire numbers from actual musicals

He has a great voice

Awesome Opossum:  he has a CD i think

Petulant Panda:  I wish he had played Fantine-he’s much less annoying than Anne Hathaway

Awesome Opossum:  um is the Gay Men’s chorus a real thing?

Petulant Panda:  Yes

Awesome Opossum:  his sarcasm is hard for me sometimes

Petulant Panda:  Because he always sounds sarcastic

that happens to me sometimes too though-like I am being earnest and I sound like the biggest bitch

Oh

Awesome Opossum:  also Channing Tatum is supposed to be in this opening session

Petulant Panda:  Channing

Awesome Opossum:  oh as i type

Petulant Panda:  Excellent

Awesome Opossum:  SWOON

best part

dance channing, dance

Petulant Panda:  I could not love this more

This is magical

Awesome Opossum:  i how is charlize not just having sex with him on the stage

omg

i wish Sven wasn’t here

do think he is going ot strip?

i am dying

Petulant Panda:  I do not

Awesome Opossum:  i think those are break away pants

oh damn

Petulant Panda:  This is a classy affair

with William Shatner

Ok, this is a good opening

Awesome Opossum:  haha

Petulant Panda:  Sock puppets=good comedy

Awesome Opossum:  always

haha

coke sucking sock puppets are even better

Petulant Panda:  Cut aways to a dryer are the perfect button

Awesome Opossum:  i really thought Channing Tatum was going to strip

Petulant Panda:  I’m sorry that didn’t happen

Awesome Opossum:  and only wear a sock?

see it coming together

i think it still might happen

Petulant Panda:  you should have Magic Mike playing in a corner of your computer screen

WHOA

Awesome Opossum:  oh JGL

Petulant Panda:  the Oscars showcase all your boyfriends

Awesome Opossum:  two men on my top five within 5 mins

it’s too much

Petulant Panda:  I LOVE this opening

Petulant Panda:  I’m sorry I was a bitch about Seth McFarlane

Awesome Opossum:  SWOON times two

i love JGL

esp. when doing a hand stand

Petulant Panda:  I’m still going to boycott Family Guy though

Awesome Opossum: when you start dating someone, you won’t be able to boycott it

all men love it

don’t ask me why

Awesome Opossum:  sally field looks good in that promo

Petulant Panda:  she is so pretty

Awesome Opossum:  oh that was awesome

love her face

like she doesn’t remember it

Petulant Panda:  I know-she’s epic

Awesome Opossum:  that’s awesome

i still have hopes for Channing to come back

Petulant Panda:  I just squealed in my apartment

I love this opening

Awesome Opossum:  LOVE IT

there he is

not naked

but back

Petulant Panda:  This opening is like my brain every day

Awesome Opossum: haha, I know.

Petulant Panda: I like the dress Melissa is wearing

 Awesome:  looks good!
i don’t like her hair though
its not 1984
Petulant Panda:  And she’s not Delta Burke
 Awesome:  haha zing
Petulant Panda: Brave to wear a kilt to the Oscars
 Awesome:  i am totes wearing a kilt when i accept my Oscar
GREAT PUN btw
Petulant Panda:  Thank you ma’am
make sure to tip your waitress
Petulant Panda:  I really did love Les Miserables
 Awesome:  i didn’t see it
i do like Eddie
 Petulant Panda:  You should see it
 Awesome:  he is also part of the @END_7 campaign
Petulant Panda:  the annoying parts are over early
Oh, really? What other celebrities are part of this?
 Awesome:  Emily Blunt
Tom Felton
Priyanka Chopra
 Petulant Panda:  Harry Potter’s Malfoy?
 Awesome:  Yvonne Chaka Chaka (the princess of Africa)
and Tom Hollander
 Petulant Panda:  wow, a lot of celebrities are concerned with this important cause
 Awesome:  indeed
with their help and the power of social media, we hope to make NTDs the next major issue in global health
oh zing on George Clooney
 Petulant Panda:  Zing indeed
 Awesome:  he just gave bitch face
that was awesome
Petulant Panda:  he takes it better than Taylor Bitch Face Swift
 Awesome: affirmative, samuel l jackson is wearing a velour suit
Petulant Panda:  he’s pulling it off
i just know there’s a snakes on a plane joke in there somewhere
Awesome:  there has to be
look at the guy’s hair
he is NOT effing around
Petulant Panda:  whoa, Nelson called
and they said he can keep their look
 Awesome:  hahahaha
Petulant Panda:  (and also congratulations to this guy on achieving his life-long dream)
 Awesome:  i hope they play the Jaws theme song again when they try to get Anne Hathaway’s annoying ass off the stage
<3 <3 <3
god he is so sexy
look at him
i can’t even sit still
Petulant Panda: They are great together
 Like, perfect presenting couple
 Awesome:  i would do all those things for you Channing
oh looooove
touch him again Jen
you lucky lady
Petulant Panda: Wait, you want to wax Channing Tatum?
 
Awesome:  side note, his wife is starring in a lifetime movie that airing tonight
i would do anything to be near channing tatum
Petulant Panda:  Good for her! I bet he’s so proud of her and so supportive of her career
other than Les Mis, I do not think i’ve seen a single movie that is nominated tonight
unless Magic Mike sweeps with a write-in campaign
Awesome:  i have seen:
Argo
Django unchained
  Silver Linings Playbook
and Lincoln
so i feel very well informed
but i don’t think its out of the realm of possibility that Magic Mike will win as a write in
  kelly and i looked at the james bond exhibit yesterday at the spy museum
so i feel well informed about this segment also
 Petulant Panda:  I’m jealous
 Awesome:  you should be
Petulant Panda:  I have neither been to the spy museum nor seen more than one Bond movie
 Awesome:  wow
you are not fully living life
Petulant Panda: I’m hideously under-qualified to be live-blogging these Oscars
 Awesome:  um what is happening?
you are qualified to JUDGE this
Petulant Panda:  haha, thanks
i like it
 Awesome:  i feel weird
Petulant Panda:  i hope when i’m a senior citizen someone will pay me to sing sexily on stage with my tatas hanging out
 Awesome:  its taking itself a bit too seriously for my taste
i mean that is THE dream
ok Kerry Washington–that dress is a NO
that whole look is NO
she is much prettier than that
Petulant Panda:  I was just thinking how much i like it
 Awesome:  do your hair, this is the Oscars
ugh no she can do so much better
she is so pretty
Petulant Panda:  But she could kill it in a paper sack
yeah, she is
 Awesome:  but she doesn’t have to
so glam it up girl
if i looked like that i would wear a gown every effing day
Petulant Panda:  I think being that gorgeous would make me lazy
like, I can just wear sweats
 Awesome:  also i think her and Jamie Foxx are totes doing it
i think
Petulant Panda:  Hmmm, porque?
 Awesome:  i just think it
its a feeling I have
i have nothing to base it on
Petulant Panda:  I respect that. This isn’t the kind of blog that gets hung up on facts
Awesome:  side note: this pasta and wine combo is making this harder on me
Petulant Panda:  You’re doing great
 Awesome:  i am trying
Petulant Panda:  I’m going to start drinking at 10
and i’m eating popcorn now
 Awesome:  i will be 5 hours ahead of you
how cute, eating popcorn and blogging about oscars
Petulant Panda: I’m working on being patently adorable no matter who is watching
Awesome:  you are doing a good job
also a note about Argo
i think Ben Affleck always writes himself a shirtless scene in his own movies
not that anyone here is complaining
i am just letting you know
Petulant Panda:  That is a ringing endorsement for Argo if I’ve ever heard one.
Awesome:  it was essential to the plot line
Petulant Panda:  I can’t imagine it wouldn’t be. I think it would help move along the plot of the Oscars if he would take his shirt off now.
 Awesome:  him and Channing should do it together
if you HAD to choose
HAD TO
Channing or Ben?
Petulant Panda:  That’s the remake of Brokeback Mountain America is begging to see
 Awesome:  you have 5 seconds
Petulant Panda:  Hmmm, Ben
You?
 Awesome:  i would go Channing
glad there won’t be any conflicts
Petulant Panda:  me too
 Awesome:  we should do this for more things
Petulant Panda: agreed
we should for sure have done it for the superbowl
 Awesome:  O.M.G.F
i feel like we missed an opportunity there
 Petulant Panda: there’s going to be another one
next year
Awesome:  no one WILL EVER top Beyonce dismissing the rest of Destiny’s Child
like that was a one time only treat for America
Petulant Panda: that’s really true
Awesome:  did you know she was wearing 6 pairs of panty hose?
she was
Petulant Panda:  What?
how do you know that?
 Awesome:  i read it somewhere
it keep her jiggle in
she didn’t want to be TOO Bootylicious
Awesome:  Jennifer Garner looks like a muppet in that dress
Petulant Panda:  the front is fine
 the back is what makes her look like she’s wearing one of those backpack/leash things that little kids have to wear
 Awesome:  its not good
Petulant Panda: Oh yes, show John Travolta dancing around in drag on a jumbo tron
 Awesome:  i mean…
look at him
Petulant Panda:  that will quell those rumors
do you think he’ll come out as gay or bald first?
Awesome:  he is TOTES wearing a wig
Gay before Bald
 oh Catharine
DO IT
Petulant Panda: this is great
 Awesome:  yeah girl
she looks amazing
Petulant Panda: This is the most musical-y the Oscars has been in forever
I love it
Awesome:  she is really pulling this off
do you think Renee is SUPER PISSED right now?
she better not come out
Petulant Panda: They should really have let Anne go first
instead of real singers
also, Russell Crowe should not sing at all
 Awesome:  ugh i am glad she has to live up to something
i love that all real singers are coming out before Anne
the Oscar producers must extra hate her from last year
Petulant Panda:   haha, what did she do last year?
i forget
 Awesome:  she hosted
horriblely
Petulant Panda:  oh, riiiggghhht
i forgot
Awesome:  with James Franco
and most people still haven’t recovers from the second hand embarrassment
like they blame James Franco for being high
Petulant Panda: This song was not originally in the musical. For good reason.
 Awesome:  oh EDDIE
love it
Petulant Panda:  Oh, your boy is nervous
YES
loved Eponine
so SO glad she is featured
 Awesome:  yeah she is in the real show in London right?
Petulant Panda:AAAHGHHHHGHGHGH
Aaron Tveit
LLOVE HIMMMMMMMMEEMEM
Poor Russell can’t even master hiding his mic cord.
Ok, I’m pouring myself some wine.
Awesome:  oh plug your own horrid move Seth
please
 Petulant Panda: Let’s please not start complimenting ourselves with words like “mediocre”
Awesome: take off your shirt Mark to distract us all
thanks.
 Petulant Panda:  that would be good
he could join Ben and Channing in the shirtless section
Awesome:  i think next year they should have a shirtless section for sure
that would really help with ratings
Petulant Panda: agreed
 Awesome:  also Seth’s voice for this teddy bear sounds just like Peter Griffin
Petulant Panda: But like, more annoying.
Awesome: A TIE?
no
that’s dumb
Petulant Panda:  That is indeed dumb
a tie=2 speeches
also, Trader Joe’s Sauvignon Blanc really peaks about five minutes after opening it
 
Awesome:  ummm?
Petulant Panda: no, that sound of music joke is gold. Trust me.

 Awesome:  ok
i mean now i see Christoper Plumber is there
so it makes more sense
Petulant Panda: is this going to be how Anne Hathaway wins her goddamn Oscar?

this is so annoying
Christopher Plummer is too good for this
Awesome:  oh im so humble, i was so great, but i won’t win
WINK–IM TOTES WINNING
Petulant Panda:  WHO MEEEE? I could never win an Oscar…..
(checks in with humility coach Taylor Swift) for confirmation
Ugh
Ugh
Ughhhhh
Awesome:  OH GOOD THING SHE IS THE FRONT ROW
wear a bra
this is the Oscars
you can find some tape or something supportive
oh jesus h. christ
Petulant Panda:   for the love of god
Awesome:  “it came ture”
Petulant Panda:   this is all inCREDibly annoying
Awesome:  i hope my dream comes true next
Petulant Panda:  my skin itches
is your dream for someone to tackle her from the audience?
Awesome:  yes
why is she so breathy and kind of British?
Petulant Panda:  Because when you become that pretentious, there is no where to go but British
Ask Madonna
Awesome:  i hope she wasn’t invited to Madonna’s Oscar party
that would be too much
YES. ANNE.
we know you are married
and not to the criminal guy
thanks for reminding us
AGAIN
why the God Father when she leaves?
there must be a hidden meaning?
Petulant Panda:  Because she’s going to get wacked
whacked?
 Awesome:  Like Anne will be sleeping with the fishes soon
Petulant Panda:  after this-she’s crossed a threshold of annoyance
Awesome:  she will find a horses head in her dressing room
Petulant Panda:   she can’t come back from it
she won’t be killed, just her career
 I LOVE Sandra Bullock
Awesome:  she looks mad
Petulant Panda:  I feel like we could be bffs
I think she’s overdone the botox
 Awesome:  i love when Suri’s burn book makes fun of her super cute baby
for always looking bored
Petulant Panda: Me too
he’s too cool for everything
 I also feel like I could become serious besties with Rachel Dratch-her book is speaking to my heart
Awesome:  i love that Argo keeps winning
Petulant Panda: oh, me too
it’s nice validation
even though I haven’t seen it
Awesome:  Adele looks amazing
Petulant Panda: truth
I wish I could wear that dress for my cabaret, This is the City, at The Duplex in NYC at 6:30 PM on Sunday, March 10th
 Petulant Panda: Oh, I like them presenting
 I know you don’t like K-Stew
 
Awesome:  no i don’t like anything she des
Petulant Panda: but I’m a fan
Awesome:  STAND UP STRAIGHT
wash your hair
and act like a grown up
she looks like she just woke up
Petulant Panda:  Maybe she did
 The Oscars go so late
Petulant Panda:  I heard that the in memorium tribute is super intense to get into
probably the dead people don’t care, but their family/friends/agents care a great deal
 Awesome:  I feel like they always leave somone out
Petulant Panda: I am also not a great person because I don’t really care about this unless one of the deceased is a Golden Girl
 Awesome:  oh i do love Norah Ephron, I am sad she is dead
Petulant Panda: me too
She does last-go trades just like my mom
 Awesome:  she does?
haha
i love all her books
Petulant Panda:  Oh
Barbara
Welcome girl
 Awesome:  MEMORIES
Petulant Panda:  This is the Tony’s of the Oscars
 Awesome:  misty water colored MEMORIES
Petulant Panda: I love it
 Awesome:  OH i love it when she sing talks
MEMORIES
do think Sex and the City ruined that movie?
i do
Petulant Panda:  Ok, I am now crying over Marvin Hamlish’s death
I don’t
 Awesome:  also girlfriend is rocking some fake hair
damn
Petulant Panda:  i try to forget about S and the C when I think of that movie
 The Way We Were
 Awesome:  at the end of the movie though really all I could think was the Robert Redford was a deadbeat dad
 how did he not ask about his daughter
 Petulant Panda: yeah, that was a huge part of it
that was totally not addressed
 Awesome:  like “how is Rachel”?
Petulant Panda: do you think that’s an anachronism?
 Awesome:  um HI you are her dad
no i think it was just a terrible plot hole
because the move was just about the two of them
so he couldn’t be involved in her life after they break up
Petulant Panda: Which will totally fly with Rachel’s psychologist when she’s older
Awesome:  REGARDLESS that is a great movie song/movie title

name another good movie that shares a title with its them song
Fame
The Sound of Music
that’s about it
Petulant Panda: what about Grease?
Crybaby
 Awesome:  yeah ok
Petulant Panda: Titanic and the Titanic song?
 Awesome: wow they are really bringing back Chicago
Petulant Panda:yeah, I think they’re setting up Les Mis to win Best Picture
 Awesome:  obviously
Petulant Panda: which I like, since it’s the only one I’ve seen
 Awesome:  which is annoying mostly because of anne hathaway
i have not seen it
but i have seen lots of others
Petulant Panda:  She is really hardly in it. I feel okay saying mean things about her now, since she has her SAG Award to protect against negative thoughts and feelings.
 whoa
what an upset
 Awesome:  oh wow
oh according to Perez the producers of this year’s oscars produced Chicago
so know we know why they keep bringing it up
Petulant Panda:  Ah
that makes sense
The music from Life of Pi all sounds like “Come Little Children” from Hocus Pocus, based on what I’ve heard on the Oscars
who is this lady?
i like her
 Awesome:  Norah Jones
she also supports@END_7
Petulant Panda: Oh
she looks different
Awesome:  how much looooonger is this?
 Petulant Panda: Maybe to infinity
 I feel like i could go to bed, wake up and there would still be Oscars
 Awesome:  i also cant believe Moonrise Kingdom didn’t get nominated for more things
Petulant Panda: I haven’t seen it
Awesome: oh its really good, you would really like it
Petulant Panda:whenever i see Charlize Theron I think of her Arrested Development Character
 Awesome:  haha truth
omg QT is super drunk
look at his tie
he is a hot mess
also he has a surprisingly high pitched voice for a man of his stature yes?
um HOW IRONIC they play Gone with the Wind to play him off stage
the Oscars music producers have a major sense of humor
Petulant Panda: Yeah, they deserve two awards for Best Score of an Awards Show Season 2013 and for Best Sweet Subtle Burns
Jesus, if you want to know how to age gracefully take a look at Jane Fonda
she looks amazing
 Awesome:  man
seriously
i bet she is older than Michael Douglas
Petulant Panda:   Probably
 Awesome:  she is
Petulant Panda: This show could use a LOT fewer pregnant pauses, btw
 Awesome:  she is 75
Petulant Panda:   Shit
 Awesome:  he is 68
Petulant Panda: Do you think she signed a deal with the devil or found the right genie in the right bottle?
 Awesome:  both
Petulant Panda: Covered all her bases
I really, really like that last year’s winners present to this year’s winners
like some sort of cross-gendered homecoming queen ritual
 Awesome:  yeah i like too
i like jennifer lawrence
but i am not sure she should win
i love her as Katniss
which you would know NOTHING about
Petulant Panda: yeah, but i think she has more Oscar-worthy performances ahead of her
 Awesome:  me too
do you think that little girl is going to win?
Petulant Panda:  haha, I also know nothing about Silver Linings, but I still have an opinion
ummm, maybe?
 Awesome:  i think DDL is def going to win
Petulant Panda:  probs
I wouldn’t mind if Hugh won
he was really, really good
and I saw the movie he’s in
 Awesome:  haha
that is the ONLY movie you saw
Petulant Panda::  factual
 Awesome:  Joaquin is waaay too cool to win an Oscar
he doesn’t even care
whatever
oh snap
Meryl already knew
she didn’t even open the envelope!
did you notice that??
Petulant Panda:  It’s on the teleprompter
 Awesome:  oh
nm
its funnier in my imagination
Petulant Panda: Sorry to ruin what could have been an awesome conspiracy theory
 Awesome: why do they all open the envelopes then?
Petulant Panda:  it looks nice? it’s tradition from before teleprompters?
It’s a way to milk your two seconds on stage presenting
 Awesome:  well it made her look cool
i liked it
Petulant Panda:  DDL has the best acceptance speech of the evening
evening
overall, the best actor/actress winners have the best speeches
 Awesome:  agreed
ok so now its almost over yes?
Petulant Panda:  God, I hope so
You feel like it is, but the last bit of the Oscars is sort of like the last few minutes of football
 holy crap
 Awesome:  she looks AWESOME
damn
Petulant Panda:  She is so beautiful
 Awesome:  and she is just hanging around her house
in a gown
 Awesome:  nbd
Petulant Panda: Yeah, I’m dressed pretty similarly in my home
 Awesome:  haha samsies
i mean she is WEARING that dress
Best Dressed goes to Michelle Obama
Petulant Panda:  Yeah, no one can contest it
 Awesome:  she owns those bangs too
Petulant Panda: I also LOVE her for championing arts for our young people
 Dear Clooney and Affleck, no beards please
Awesome:  i like Ben’s beard
why didn’t they let whole cast up there?
don’t they usually do that?
Petulant Panda: they do
 Awesome:  that’s weird
Petulant Panda: maybe everyone wants to get the EFF out of there
 Awesome:  i mean it was a big cast
and full of basically non famous people
Petulant Panda: Who may already be at after parties
 Awesome:  haha
or not invited
oh i love him so much
Petulant Panda:  what if they pan to the audience and everyone is gone?
Guys, just like Seth MacFarlane, whose name is creatively spelled throughout this blog post, thank you so much for joining us tonight! We had a great time; I hope you did! For everyone who didn’t get to to go the Oscars tonight and is still awake reading this, good luck at work tomorrow. I’ll see you at Starbucks.
PS Chenoweth, I love you.
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2 thoughts on “Live Blogging the Oscars

  1. Wow that was strange. I just wrote an very long comment but after I clicked
    submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing
    all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say superb blog!

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