You guys probably did not know this, but the Oscars were on last night. I say you did not know because to the untrained eye, it may have looked a little bit like a live airing of A Midsummer Night’s Dream starring Ellen DeGeneres as the handsome Lysander, Brad Pitt as a coquettish Hermia, Angelina Jolie as a lovesick and surprisingly likable Demetrius, and John Travolta as a reluctant but obvious Bottom. But no, it was the Oscars.
I had a lot of feelings. I now know that celebrities are not just like me, since they all rushed to ebulliently be in that selfie; I do not like having to do that shit at brunch and I sure as hell would not like doing it in a fancy dress. Also, Jared Leto, I saw you get creepy on Jennifer Lawrence’s thigh. Jared, you are hot but you are old. That was not appropriate.
The Oscars this year was not only like a Shakespearean comedy, but one of the better dressed ceremonies I’ve seen of late (Whoopie, this does not include you; sorry friend). Lupita Nyong’o was so beautiful and so perfectly dressed, she took my breath away, which may also explain the phrasing in Pink’s performance. Pink, the improbable artist who rose out of the pop muck of the 90’s (not you, Britney), looked like if a ruby slipper came to life and was more elegant than one could have imagined. But the loveliest look of the night was Liza Minnelli, who is easily the most captivating person in any room at any time. I loved her blue streak and her blue dress. I might get one of each.
Even with an evening so full of Liza, it was around the moment that that Spike Jonze accepted his Best Director award that I realized, I don’t care as much about the Oscars as I once did. In a world where so many people have to fight for so little, it’s increasingly frustrating to enviously watch a room full of insanely rich people and their seat fillers laud each other for how “brave” they’ve been in making movies that are too expensive for many people to see, despite how important their creators think them. Art shouldn’t be a luxury but the lavish production costs and exorbitant salaries of the people in that very room contribute to why it has very much become one.
Except that then, Idina Menzel and Derek McLane created live-action Frozen in a way I could have never even dared to hope for. It. Was. Magic.