A Functional but Ornamental Race

We all know that women aren’t people, right guys? Like, people’s rights are very important and people should be believed when they say a crime has been committed against them and people shouldn’t have to worry so much about their looks. And then there are women.

Christian blogger Veronica Partridge’s post about yoga pants recently went viral when she admitted that the good Lord, in the middle of a conversation she had with fellow Christians about yoga pants, changed her heart. One, real nice that God is spending so much time working on Veronica Partridge’s yoga pants conundrum instead of focusing on gun violence or pediatric AIDS or victims of Boko Haram. Two, this lady is being lauded and celebrated for making a choice about her body as seen by men for another man. She is not asking her husband not to wear those khakis that are too thin but also too loose so that when he sits in them I can see the outline of his entire package on the train. Because she and we don’t think of men as objects. That’s what women are for. And she and we don’t think of men’s bodies as possessions. That’s also what women are for.

As a New Yorker, this next point disappoints me the most. Likely presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee, spent six and a half years working at Fox News here in New York City and I swear to God if I find out which women did this, I will speak with them personally. Huckabee breaks his traumatized silence on Mickelson in the Morning, an Iowa-based radio show, to say that people were dropping the F bomb in professional business meetings. Including women. Huckabee mentions that this is typical locker room talk, so I guess fine when it’s all men, but when a woman swears, a Southerner would call that trashy. Mike Huckabee, Southerner, is not calling these foul-mouthed women trashy. But in the South, someone might. Super Pacs Support groups are forming for former Arkansas Governor Huckabee to massage his hands out of their claw-like shape when he recovers enough to unclutch his pearls. Governor Huckabee, never let those awful cunts who think they can act the same as men change you.

Lastly, The Nightly Show premiered last Monday. This show is great. The writing is insightful. Larry Wilmore is funny and likeable. Breaking with the Daily Show / Colbert Report model of having one guest star, Wilmore joins a four guest panel on every show. The panels are full of funny, interesting people. And they have included exactly one woman per panel in the five episodes that have aired so far. Larry, I appreciate your longtime readership of this blog and as a feminist, I am so into how you called Cosby to the carpet. But come on. You make a point of highlighting minorities and yet over 50% of the population is only allowed 20% representation on your show every night? This show gives a voice to a lot of people, but not a lot of women.

Your girl Bao Bao doing it for her damn self.

Your girl Bao Bao doing it for her damn self.

I Can’t Rid Myself of My Christian Charity

I recently read an article on the Facebook about how more religious people in general, and Christians specifically, are less likely to act charitably in monetary situations than the less or not at all religious.

As a Christian, I want to be all sputtery and offended by this, but as someone who has waited tables in and out of the Bible Belt for years, I can tell you this is totally true. I wish I had a really interesting story illustrating my point, but it’s always the same. I walk up to the table, the dad makes lightly embarrassing dad-jokes; the whole family or group of people is super, extra nice. They all order with nary an alcoholic beverage between them (except sometimes, when the mom will get a glass of Chardonnay). I turn my back to go input the order and they all put their heads down. The backwaiter delivering bread and olive oil and I exchange a look: Every person in the service industry knows that if someone is bent over their breadbasket in prayer, your tip is going to be paltry.

20120507-233456.jpgTipping isn’t charity; it’s a standard expense and Americans all know this. Christians are supposed to be beacons of kindness and generosity of spirit. I don’t remember the Bible instructing “When separating the wheat from the shaft, ensure your waiter always receives the latter”, but I went to a pretty liberal Church, so maybe we didn’t cover that in Sunday school.


…or maybe that was covered the same day as “Judge not, lest ye be judged”, which I obviously missed.